Karma and Sumi’s Behavior
Friday, April 1, 2022, 3:00 pm, 340F (10C), Hazy afternoon
Karma and Sumi’s Behavior
We, a group of college friends of more than 50 years, meet bi-weekly via Zoom calls to discuss various topics. Recently we discussed the concept of Karma (Life cycle of birth-rebirth). Karmic theory is based on reincarnation which is a central tenet of the Hindu, Buddhist and Jain religions.
Then there is another karma theory where people believe everything we do creates a corresponding energy that comes back to us in some form or another. Or, simply stated, “What Goes Around Comes Around,” meaning the consequences of one's actions will have to be dealt with eventually. Or, as the bible says, “You Reap What You Sow.”
In the initial years of our married life, I was working and Sumi was not. I would wake up at 5:30 am to get ready to go to work. Sumi woke up with me and made my tea and breakfast. This routine continued until our first child, Parini, was born. Sumi was nursing Parini and many nights Sumi would be up taking care of Parini. Realizing she was not getting enough sleep, I let her sleep in the morning and made my own tea and breakfast. This pattern of Sumi staying in the bed continued when we had our second child, Jasen. And, then after for may years when we became empty nesters when our children went to college.
Fast forwarding, this month Sumi will be in the 10
th year of her disease. In her diseased state, she has maintained a clock-work type routine of her daily activities which includes staying in the bed till 10 am. Sometimes, when she is awake earlier and lays in the bed, I pretend and tell her that I am making Chai (tea) and breakfast. I don’t know what her mind processes, but she stays in bed and goes back to sleep. Sumi’s staying in bed is a big blessing and makes my mornings peaceful. Peggy, Sumi’s caregiver, comes at 9:30 am and makes Sumi’s breakfast and we get Sumi out of her bed to feed her.
Few years back I had attended a seminars on Alzheimer’s disease in which I had heard that a man with Alzheimer’s was in a one-story nursing home and around 4 pm he would try to jump out of his room window to escape from the facility. Upon digging into his background, they found he was a teacher his whole life and around 4 pm everyday he would leave the school to go home. Now, in his diseased state, at 4 pm his internal biological clock would tell him it is time to go home from school. Thus, him wanting to escape from the nursing home!
With this backdrop, finally I made the connection of Sumi staying in the bed to our earlier years when our children were born and I would let her sleep-in.
The question is: was my action of letting her sleep longer was good Karma whose fruits I am harvesting now?
Suppose she had continued to wake up in the morning to make my breakfast, would she, in her diseased state, would want to get out of bed early in the morning thinking she has to make my breakfast and make my mornings difficult?
I can’t tell for sure but deep within her, Sumi knows not to bother me in the morning as she got that space when she needed it in her pre-diseased state.